Geeps with all the excitement going on someone asked where exactly is Missen?
Missen is a planet found in the galaxy that we call Andromeda. As part of my space adventure, I played in the one day cricket final on Flong at the Foval with Big M. This was important to Gordon as he needed to prove that there was a relationship between one day cricket scores and the average number of beans in a 440 gram can of Baked Beans in Tomato Sauce. Hey, you think space and the universe is complicated, well think again.
Big M has become part of my team on the Unnameable II space ship which is currently hiding on the dark side of the moon so not to upset NASA.
After getting the call from God, Big M went back to Missen to pick up Shoe so they could help me with my deep and revealing interview with Eddie O’Bad. However I have just learnt that Eddie has an old mate with him, Arthursin O’Dinos. Now I’m starting to worry, Gordon O’Donnell, Sandy O’Way, Barty O’Farty, Eddie O’Bad and Authursin O’Dinos, hmm. Any one else see a trend developing.?
I ring the Bish. “Hey Bish” I lead “A bit of a problem with names beginning with O”
“Don’t know what you mean Sandy anyway that call girl said she was 16” barks the Bish.
Hmm. Anyway we get to the gates of the O’Bad Ponderosa. A couple of guards approach the car.
“Hey, Sandy here, from the church of St Generic Brand, want to interview the Big O” I say but really not knowing what really to say.
“Well Father, you better turn around and keep going cause Eddie don’t wanna talk to you” says the guard, smiling and laughing to his offsider.
“Well heck guys, but I have the Duckhunt champion from Missen sitting right here that can take you apart within a few seconds” I reply not knowing really what I am saying. Hey, where’s the rum.
Just as that thought crossed my mind, Big M and Shoe were out of the car and after a few shots and screams had the guards under control.
“Big M, what are you doing?” I ask.
“Easy Sandy” he replies “This is a taping technique I learnt in NICU, tape their hands with the gun pointed to their abdomen, one false move, they pull the trigger, he he he he, etc” laughs Big M.
Gut wrenching laughter from Shoe “Me like” grins Shoe.
Geez, do you really know what you’ve been missing?
“Hey Sandy, how bout this” says Big M as the car accelerates and spins in a circle.
“Sandy, we is doing a donut” cries Big M
“Lets shoot some guards” says Shoe.
Bish, what have you done to me.
We travel into the O’Bad Ponderosa and arrive at the main door.
“Eddie, mate” I yell “Just wanna talk, okay”
Meanwhile Big M takes out seven guards and Shoe shoots out six windows on the second floor.
“Wadda ya want to talk about?” screams Eddie. Eddie’s eyes flash from side to side.
“Did ya do it?” I ask. May as well get to the point.
“Do what?” Eddie replies.
“It?” I reaffirm.
“Nah” says Edie
“What about you Artuursin?”
“I don’t remember”
“Did you go to McDonalds” I press.
“Yes” says Eddie, “I like a pickle with a meat patty”
This is unfortunately a true story, well sort of…
First published at the pigsarms.com.au